Ever felt that way? There are many things that can trigger this fear.
What if I start and I never stop?
What if it makes me look weaker than I already feel?
What if it makes things worse than they already are?
And then there is always the logic behind it. It's not going to solve anything. This situation is not going to change from a few shed tears. You are going to wake up in the morning and the problem is still going to be staring you right in the face. Decisions will still need to be made. Changes are going to have to take place. And life is not going to get better just because you cried.
So I don't. I sit...I stare at a computer screen, wanting to scream, wanting to break down. But instead I write. I try to make sense of it, where there is no sense to be made. And then I sit..and I stare...out the window, at the ceiling, then at the back of my eye lids ... until I fall asleep.
All this...because I am afraid to cry...
4 comments:
I've never quite been afraid to cry. I've been at that point where I know it's not going to solve anything, so why bother...And generally, if I'm attempting not to cry, it's because I'm surrounded by people and I don't want them to see me so weak.
But usually, for the most part, if I'm hurt, angry, scared, frustrated, the tears find their way out. There's not a whole lot I can do to stop them. I cry, no matter what. And sometimes it makes me feel a little bit better, just to get it out. But other times, it just makes me feel worse, and the moment I stop, the moment I feel like there are no more tears to cry, my body somehow finds more...
I'm sorry that you're dealing with a tough situation, whatever it may be. We all deal with things in our own ways, but if you need to talk, you know where to find me.
I think I'm at the point past talking...just cuz I don't feel like anyone really gets it. It's hard to make people understand. I'm better now that I have a yummy traveling margarita in my hand though.
And it's great...it fits in the car cup holder!?!?!
PS...you owe me explanations before I share mine ;)
Which is why I said I understand that we all deal with things in our own ways (Though margaritas may be universal! lol)
Margaritas are always universal!
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