Best Song/Prayer Ever!!

"Worlds Apart"
(Please click the link to listen as you read the lyrics!)

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart


I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remain"
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remains"
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Fighting a Losing Battle Today...Maybe

I'm a week late from my normal posting schedule. Which makes it even rougher and harder to explain. But I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with my mind today. I'm trying to stay positive. I know things are going well.

I have a wonderful family.

I just got back two wonderful book critiques.

Christmas vacation starts on Friday.

Life is fine.

But I'm really cranky. I'm slightly on the low side (and when I say slight I mean slightly for a bi polar ... which is a lot for a normal person!) of the spectrum today. I want to cheer up. I know I can cheer up. But it's not working yet.

It's the stupidest (oh look, that is really a word! I was totally planning on the spell check to catch that one!) things that set me off too.

Too much to do, too little me. (Ok let's be honest, with a whole 4 ft 11 of me, there is ALWAYS too little me...)

The things I want to do are on the low end of the priority pole and it's frustrating.

Not enough blog comments.

Not enough time in the day.

Not enough silence in my house.

Holiday weight starting to settle in.

Not being able to go to Church on Christmas.

Christmas in general and all it's stupid drama.

And tons of little other holiday issues that I deal with every year....why are the holidays the worst anyway? Isn't it suppose to be a time of joy and laughter and love? I was trying really hard to focus on that this year, but this week made it very difficult.

Must. Focus. On. The. Real. Meaning. Of. Christmas!

Must also focus on the real reasons I blog, for fun, not for comments (Fish are friends, not food...yeah don't ask)

Must focus on the good things happening in my life!

Must not let one week/day ruin my holiday.

Maybe I should go watch Love Actually, or Elf. Always mood raisers!

Maybe I'm not fighting a losing battle...maybe I'm just not fighting hard enough.

BRING ON THE GRENADES!!! (Ok so I totally don't like weapons or grenades, but I'll settle for a squirt gun!)

Things that keep my going...

A song that makes me tear up!! A perfect song for a writer! A perfect song for ME!

Motivation