I'm a week late from my normal posting schedule. Which makes it even rougher and harder to explain. But I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with my mind today. I'm trying to stay positive. I know things are going well.
I have a wonderful family.
I just got back two wonderful book critiques.
Christmas vacation starts on Friday.
Life is fine.
But I'm really cranky. I'm slightly on the low side (and when I say slight I mean slightly for a bi polar ... which is a lot for a normal person!) of the spectrum today. I want to cheer up. I know I can cheer up. But it's not working yet.
It's the stupidest (oh look, that is really a word! I was totally planning on the spell check to catch that one!) things that set me off too.
Too much to do, too little me. (Ok let's be honest, with a whole 4 ft 11 of me, there is ALWAYS too little me...)
The things I want to do are on the low end of the priority pole and it's frustrating.
Not enough blog comments.
Not enough time in the day.
Not enough silence in my house.
Holiday weight starting to settle in.
Not being able to go to Church on Christmas.
Christmas in general and all it's stupid drama.
And tons of little other holiday issues that I deal with every year....why are the holidays the worst anyway? Isn't it suppose to be a time of joy and laughter and love? I was trying really hard to focus on that this year, but this week made it very difficult.
Must. Focus. On. The. Real. Meaning. Of. Christmas!
Must also focus on the real reasons I blog, for fun, not for comments (Fish are friends, not food...yeah don't ask)
Must focus on the good things happening in my life!
Must not let one week/day ruin my holiday.
Maybe I should go watch Love Actually, or Elf. Always mood raisers!
Maybe I'm not fighting a losing battle...maybe I'm just not fighting hard enough.
BRING ON THE GRENADES!!! (Ok so I totally don't like weapons or grenades, but I'll settle for a squirt gun!)
1 comment:
ELF!!! Holidays are super hard for me lately. As much as I love Christmas and as wonderful as it usually is, it's only because I have D's family. Christmas reminds me that my dad sucks and I'll probably never have a relationship with him again...even a stupid one. And reminds me of how selfish my mom has become....and how crazy my sister is. Yup, I thank God every day for D's family, because without them, I wouldn't have a family.
So I know how you feel to some degree...the holidays are hard. And with everything ELSE going on in life, it makes them harder.
Go watch Love, Actually for the 15th time, followed up by a round of Elf and a margarita. Sometimes it's not about making things better, it's just about surviving through the toughness. :(
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