Emotional or Hormonal?

I must be super hormonal or something today. All it took was one phone call to my grandmother - who I haven't spoken with in a while - to set me into a sea of tears. It's not that she upset me, it's just that every time I see her or talk to her it reminds me that there is not a whole lot of time left.

It reminds me of being little. (ok weird analogy...I know...but bear with me) When I was about 6 I would go visit an elderly lady around the corner a few days a week. She taught me how to say Spaghetti and Hamburger correctly and I will never forget the taste of fresh peaches sprinkled with a dab of sugar. She couldn't see well so I helped her out quite a bit and I do not doubt those days were the highlight of her week.

As I got a bit older I stopped going over there. I started to fear that she might pass away while I was visiting her. I could not bear the thought. It frightened me to no end. Now I regret it dearly. How selfish of me to take those moments away from her.

I feel like I am doing the same to my grandmother, not purposely of course, but quite unintentionally. I now live in a different city, have three children to tend to, and only one vehicle. It's quite difficult to get to her. I should call her more often but I never know what to say.

Today I bit the bullet and called her regardless. It was nice. She reminded me on more than one occasion to be patient, that the things I want and need will come to me. I'm not even sure why she made those comments. In talking to her I realized how much I miss her. I realized how she must have so many stories and so much to say. I didn't want to hang up, but she cut me kinda short. How I have been selfish. I told her I'd like to call her more often. She said that will be nice.

I hope I'm not such and idiotic over emotional wreck every time I hang up!