The past few weeks have been quite a blur. Many emotions have been thrown around. And now life has been placed in a stand still mode for probably the next 6-8 months. Not a big fan of that. I like to get on with things...move along...move on. But when you have kids, sometimes that's not possible.
As my impending divorce draws nearer, my confidence runs as far away as possible. I know this is the best thing for my family, however there are SOOOO many questions I can't even begin to answer.
Will I make it on my own?
Will I be able to find a job in time?
Will my kids hate me?
Will it be as lonely as I think it will be?
Will I have to move soon?
Will I ever find someone who can meet my needs?
Will I ever be me again? Or was I never me to begin with?
Will I have a hard time finding me if that's the case?
We've danced around this outcome many many times, and in the back of my mind I always knew it would happen. This alone makes me feel horrible. Though I will not hesitate to say that I did everything I possibly could to NOT get to this point, it still doesn't take away the pain. And though it was I who made this decision, it still doesn't make the loss any easier. And although I know this is the best thing for my family, it doesn't stop me from being terrified of the future!
2 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce :( I divorced my first husband and it was not easy even though it had to be done. Just take everything one day at a time and do a little something each day to move yourself forward. And let yourself and your kids grieve the loss. The more you let yourself feel the loss the quicker you will move through it. Hugs.
Hey Marybeth,
I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. Sending you hugs and lots of love.
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