I'd much prefer to be Earnest ...
I get that I do important things. Stand for an important cause. Yada yada yada
Still, that does not make me feel important.
My husband ... HE made me feel important tonight. After living here for two months without ONE family meal at the table (due to lack of space in the house) he pulled the entire thing into the middle of the living room, made dinner, set the table all nice, cooked desert. It was absolutely perfect.
Sadly, that's the most important I've felt in days, weeks ... For once, he IS the one always making me feel important. Which is a good thing.
But he's pretty much the only one.
It's that time of year again kids. That time of year where I feel I have no friends, only my family. And I love my family a great deal. I just miss having friends.
The fact of the matter is, important or not, I can't relate to anyone these days. And even if I did, nobody would go out of there way to be there for me like my husband has this week. Despite my plummet into the deep dark pit of woe, he's remained positive and helpful and caring and damn wonderful.
I'm pretty sure most everyone else hasn't even noticed my woe. Hasn't even considered doing something to help me out. And if they have, it was something that wasn't too much of a burden to them. My husband HATES cooking dinner. I know how much of a burden it was for him. I don't know anyone else who would go out of their way to make me smile in such a way.
You do those things for the people who are important to you.
Aside from him, I'm feeling quite unimportant to everyone else.
And I know I should feel lucky to have such a guy ... but I'm pretty sure luck has nothing to do with it. Years of hard work went into the relationship we have today. He's that wonderful to me because I'm the same to him (I hope ... I do try to be)
Well enough of my bitching. Luckily hardly anyone reads this blog anymore. That way I can share my thoughts and not make anyone pissed at me or feel bad or all those things that I will end up feeling guilty for and like a piece of crap. Already feel like one of those anyhow :)
That's all.
1 comment:
Just wanted to let you know that I'm (a bipolar 17-year-old girl from Sweden) is reading your blogg.
And I'm not getting pissed or feeling bad or anything - so don't feel guilty! Actually it puts a smile on my face (can you believe what a horrible person I am? Smiling at your misery!)
I know that it doesn't change the way you're feeling, but you sure made my day today when I was lying on the couch, eating noodles and feeling sorry for myself, found your blogg and just couldn't stop reading (I'm totally blaming you when mum asks me why I didn't do the laundry...)
I never know how to end comments or e-mails or whatever, but I guess "Take care" is functional? So... Take care! :)
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