DeMotivational Speaker

Yeah, I'm pretty aware those don't exist, however, if I was to make a speech right now, that's what you'd hear! I'm all out of motivation. All out of advice. All out of answers. All out of umph.

I've been pissing an moaning for months about the website and the book and school and family and my inability to keep up with it all. It's finally pushed me over the edge. But not over the edge to the point of me being depressed or anxious or stressed or anything. Instead I've entered this state of blah. I'd like to call it the "Nothing Matters" state of being. I mean things matter, but I can't stop from feeling all "meh" about them.

Pretty much I need to find a way to get myself pumped up about life again. I need motivation. I need interest. I need a swift kick to my ass to get it in gear. I don't have time to be "meh" about stuff. I keep telling everyone, "Oh, I'll get back on top of things soon ... I just need a small break." Yeah, my small break kinda turned into an extensive sabbatical and I'm not sure when my mind has decided to return.

So how does one go about finding their missing motivation? How does one get things back to the way they were? How does one fish themselves out of a funk that seems to be lingering like a pea soup fog?

Don't get me wrong ... I love the color green and all ... just not when it tends to remind me of vomit.

The weirdest part of all this is, I don't feel so alone in these feelings. Some of my really good friends seem to be going through the same thing. How can I be a good friend and help motivate them and make them feel better when I can't even convince myself that there are better things out there than watching concurrent episodes of GREEK?

How can I be a good website owner if I can't even pluck up the energy to post posts?

How can I be a good mother when EVERYTHING my children do irritates the gas out of me?

And how can I be a good wife when I just don't feel like listening or cuddling or spending time with anyone but myself.

I'm headed down a very lonely road if I don't find a way out of this. I know I have things pretty good, and I'm seriously not an ungrateful person (though I DO hate sending out thank you cards) but everything just looks dull and gray and lifeless as of late. I needs some friking color! (And not in the shade of pea soup green.)

Have I mentioned I can't write?

Seriously, it's the worst feeling in the world.

I have an entire story planned in my head ... and I'm just, "meh" about it.

Where's the freaking excitement in life? Why can't I get worked up about anything. Why must I always find myself in a demotivated state?

Meh ...